The Chad Guide to Shaving
You want to show off that jawline, right anon?
Since I am hopefully a female (kek) without a beard, @BowTiedCrow kindly stepped up to write the Official Skincare Stacy Shaving Manifesto™. In this post, we’ll cover:
Why you need to groom yourself properly
The tools you'll need
How to shave
I’ll let Crow take it from here!
Cheers,
Why You Need To Groom Yourself Properly
Fellas, it's time to ditch that, let's be real, less than full beard.
If you’ve been following the Jungle and earning your salt in life, you should have been following BowTiedOx’s plans to lose weight and put on muscle, all the while hydrating your skin following along with BowTiedFawn.
Those post pubescent hairs on your face are doing you no good with a now strong jaw and beautiful skin.
Now, I know why you don’t shave.
It’s not because you fetishize the masculine accounts online, or have succumbed to the incessant branding involving beards, cigars and IPA’s—no, the real reason why you don’t shave is because you don’t know how!
Most men don’t know how to shave correctly.
The tools we’re given don’t allow for an irritation free shave, and the art of shaving has been lost with the convenience of canned soap and disposable blades.
These conveniences are what’s causing your irritation and razor burn.
Your grandfather shaved the correct way, using old fashioned tools while dug in at some trench in the pacific theater and he never suffered from painful bumps or ingrown hairs, but don’t worry.
I’ve got you covered.
Those sore and red bumps you get on your neck that your grandfather never got are easily remedied.
Irritation will be a thing of the past.
You will finally be able to show off that beautiful face only a mother could love.
The Tools You’ll Need
Let’s go over some things you’ll need to have a perfect shave.
Double Edged Safety Razor
Double Edged Razors
Shaving Brush
Shaving Soap
Mug
Alum block
All in, we’re looking at a $100 investment that will eventually safe you money vs buying disposable razors and canned shaving cream.
I will warn you though, that this quickly becomes a place where money inadvertently goes—suddenly you have a medicine cabinet full of different razors and new soaps.
I’ll refrain from going into product recommendations here, but am more than happy to should it be requested by the community.
How to Shave
Now that you’ve unboxed everything from Amazon, it’s time to shave.
If you have a big beard and want to go down to the skin, I recommend taking an electric beard trimmer to your face with the closest guard possible and waiting a day before you shave with a razor.
This gives your skin some time to heal from any accidental irritation that may be a result of this pass over.
Once prepped, I always start with a hot shower.
The hot water softens your facial hair and will make the razor cut down the hairs much easier.
I have very coarse facial hair.
It’s thick and grows wild so I like to soak a wash rag in hot water and place it over my face for the last few minutes of the hot shower to really soften everything up.
Hop out of the shower and get the hot water in your bathroom sink running.
Once hot, place your shaving soap brush directly under the faucet and close the drain plug, filling your sink with hot water as it pours over the brush.
The hot water will soak into the hairs of the brush and will allow for a better lather with the shaving soap.
Take the soaked brush and swirl it around in the dry shave soap for 20 seconds, forcefully digging the bristles into the soap to build a thick lather on the brush head.
Dip two fingers into the sink water and transfer a few healthy drops into your wide mouthed shave mug and begin to work the soap filled brush into the mug, rapidly building lather.
You may need to add a little more water to build a nice creamy lather, so add as necessary.
Be careful not to over soak the lather.
You can always add more but never can take the water out.
Once a nice thick lather has developed in the mug, I like to splash hot water on my face, creating a huge mess all over my counter tops, but also to really wet my skin.
Take the brush and begin building a lather over the area you want to shave.
If needed, dip the tip of the brush in water to help build that lather.
This process further loosens up your hairs while softening them up, and also breaks up any dirt that may have been stuck on the follicles.
This is a major step in preventing razor burn and is critical to a good shave.
Now that your face has been covered with a beautiful lather, it’s time for the fun part!
These razors are forgiving but that doesn’t mean you get to shave with the same carelessness as the disposable ones you’re probably use to.
Since this is your first time, take the razor and place it square against your skin at a 90-degree angle.
Slowly begin to angle the razor handle down while lightly pulling the razor against your face.
Once you notice it to begin to remove the facial hair, you have found the correct angle to shave.
Everyone’s facial hair grows in different directions in different spots across our faces.
My neck is a hurricane of hair.
Map out exactly which way your hair grows and take mental note of that.
This first pass should always be with the grain, meaning in the direction of growth.
Never pass over hairs against or across the grain on this first pass.
Going against or across the grain on your first pass is what leads to ingrown hairs and major skin irritation.
With light enough pressure against your skin, you will immediately feel the feed back of the razor should you run into hair growing in a direction you didn’t anticipate.
If you do feel the razor to begin to pull the hairs, stop, and reevaluate the direction of growth to shave with it.
Short, controlled passes against the skin are key here. Two inches at a time before flipping sides of the razor.
Once each side has been used, rinse the head in the hot water.
Take the time to inspect the razor head after rinsing the soap off to ensure no facial hair has built up in between the blade and the razor guard.
If you see this, loosen the razor head and vigorously rinse it, clearing the debris.
You will not get every hair here.
That’s okay. Do not go back and try again.
Since this is your first real shave, re-lather your whole face with the shaving brush using the same technique as the first time around.
Take another pass with the grain.
Yes, you’ll be shaving over areas already shaved, that’s okay!
This is your first time and you’re just trying to get the stragglers.
After this second pass again with the grain you should have a relatively smooth face but not as smooth as you’d like or are used to with a disposable.
This is part of the process.
You’re learning how to shave correctly. Your skin needs time to adjust.
The name of this game is no ingrown hairs and no irritation.
Once you’ve mastered the first pass, you can begin a second pass across the grain, brining the closeness of the shave a step closer to a baby’s bottom.
But you likely aren’t ready for that yet, so it’s time to let your skin heal.
I rinse off with cold water, making sure to remove all of the left-over soap.
Be sure to check your ears—some likely made its way around there.
Pat dry your face with a clean towel and use an alcohol free astringent as an after-shave.
Please don’t use an after shave with fragrance—this can lead to irritation.
I use exclusively use alcohol-free witch hazel.
If you have any bleeding nicks, now is the time to use the alum stick to close the wounds; it’s going to sting.
That’s okay.
I strongly urge you wait a full day before shaving again. Your skin needs to heal before going at it again with a razor.
Congratulations!
You just shaved the correct way and have made your grandfather proud.
Continue to practice this for a few weeks doing two passes with the grain.
When you’re ready for a closer shave, come talk to me - I’ll get you across and finally against the grain in no time!