36 Secret Anti-Aging Tricks

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, just a cartoon deer on the internet with a background in chemistry and a hyperfixation on skin. This is not medical advice.

Alright, here we go.

Here are 36 things that I would NEVER do as someone obsessed with skincare, anti-aging, and health.

Straight off the cuff:

1. Get bloodwork done less than once per year

2. Consume hyperpalatable foods more than twice in a row

3. Regularly consume alcohol and cigarettes

4. Exfoliate more than 2-3 times per week (up for debate depending on concentration)

5. Consistently get less than 7 hours of sleep

6. Get on hormonal birth control

7. Skip rest days (hell, I’ll take an extra one if I need it, idgaf)

8. Combine AHAs and retinoids at the same time

9. Consume whey (I don’t tolerate it well, depends on bioindividuality)

10. Use active ingredients without moisturizing after

11. Wash pillowcases less than once a week

12. Use AHAs during the daytime

13. Pop a pimple without azelaic acid on hand to kill the redness

14. Consistently swap out skincare products even if I know what works for me

15. Wash hair without using a leave-in conditioner after

16. Regularly wear hair in a tight ponytail (breakage + traction alopecia)

17. Brush teeth with anything charcoal-y (homage @BowTiedGatorDDS)

18. Sleep in makeup

19. Use those sketchy eyelash growth serums

20. Use anything for regrowth that isn’t minox or rosemary actually

21. Use skincare products with heavy fragrance (I don’t tolerate it well)

22. Regularly use hot tools on hair (heat breaks the disulfide bonds -> literal breakage)

23. Bleach hair

24. Dermaroll or microneedle at home (jk, actually I’d trust myself to do it, but not 90% of y’all)

25. Use bio-oil to fix stretch marks (it’s not gonna do anything, the formula is mid. Try my full stretch marks protocol instead)

26. Spend bands on snail mucin when glycerin and hyaluronic acid work as well and are cheaper

27. Use saturated fats as moisturizer (I don’t tolerate heavy fats well)

28. Dermaplane over active acne

29. Dermaplane more than once a week at the very most

30. Apply vitamin C on wet skin (unless the directions say to literally apply on wet skin)

31. Buy an eye cream unless it’s got peptides or epidermal growth factor

32. Expect a jade roller or gua sha to do anything other than have a temporary depuffing effect

33. Store my products with active ingredients where they get hit with UV light

34. Skip cardio (y’all do not take care of your hearts enough for me, smh)

35. Skip right to retinA without spending time with retinyl palmitate or retinol first

36. Expect a toothpaste to whiten teeth and not get whitening strips

Cheers,

@BowTiedFawn

Notes: 

• Come hang out with me on Instagram @RealSkincareStacy for more graphic content and future Q&As

• You can find consultations here or DM me on Twitter to book with ETH.